When Your Life Feels Out of Sync...
Updated: Feb 22, 2021
The snow is melting in Oklahoma today. This two-week stretch of ice, snow, and sub-freezing temps has felt like a mini house arrest, that feeling we all know well from 2020 pandemic quarantines and shut-downs. Seeing the sun has been a mood lifter, to be sure.
But sometimes that stillness is necessary, to get to the meat of the matter. To hear God. To even realize something is out-of-sync in our soul. To wonder why our mind and spirit scream YES, but the rest of us is hanging back, not so sure it’s worth the effort. That’s where I found myself during these two weeks – stuck and finally realizing it.
During this foot of snowfall, which was beautiful by the way, I realized that I’ve had conflicting emotions about many things, hence me dragging my feet. Every time I thought about starting an art shop or revamping my website, I felt such a shrinking back inside, like my insides were trying to shut down. Fear? Tackling technology isn’t my wheelhouse. Asking for help isn’t a strong suit either.
Sometimes we just need to get over ourselves. Ask for help. Do the things. But recognizing our tendency to resist is the first step. Then we take it to God. Here are the words from my journal as I processed through this with my Father:
“Do I have a problem asking for help? Why do I have this hesitancy in my spirit? Is it because it’s something new or because I shouldn’t pursue this? Guide me, dear Father. Help me push through where fear is hindering and move forward if it’s your leading. Help me know when it’s you and when it’s not.
Father, when I’m researching technology and sites where I can learn, I can feel myself begin to shut down, like information overload is kicking in. Help me press through that. You have called me to play and produce. Knock down the walls of resistance inside me or outside of me.
I bind the enemy from bringing doubt, confusion, self-defeating attitudes, or any diversionary tactics to keep me from doing your will. Tear down all structures erected in me, personally or generationally, that are blocking me from inheriting my birthright or operating in the fullness of your design.
I surrender my walls, my defenses, my self-imposed limitations, my faulty thinking and limited vision, my lack of faith, and self-doubts. I built a website last year. I can do whatever you call me to do. Open my understanding, give me wisdom concerning resources, and help me take the next step.”
The next day, I dug into teaching resources and started revamping my website. It’s still a work in progress, but the point is, I GOT A BREAKTHROUGH. The secret was realizing I needed it! Until I acknowledged the problem and sought help from God (and others), I remained inert.
I wanted you to see how I processed through this with God’s help so you can do the same. Our issues may be vastly different. It doesn’t matter.
Jesus is the answer every time.
FREE PRINTABLE - I’m offering you a free printable of the “You Be You,” artwork I painted during Fall 2020 when God began talking to me about how God designed us each to be unique and wonderful.
Click on the link below for a downloadable print for your wall or your fridge to remind you how special you are!
I NEED A FAVOR. Will you check out my revamped website: www.djhejtmanek.com?
I’d appreciate it if you would be my beta readers and see if you can find any typos, links that don’t work, or general murky writing that needs an edit. Please email me back if you find anything to correct and/or let me know what you like! Also, I’m planning to add an art page to my site, but I’m still researching the best way
to do that. Would you pray for me about that? THANK YOU!